Friday, November 30, 2012

It’s beginning to look alot like christmas

Waking up this morning and finding all the snow outside, I couldn’t help but get that christmas feeling, and having purged myself of stress and bad thoughts last night I felt much better.


So I decided it was time to get out the christmas decorations! I looooove decorating for christmas, I wish it were christmas twice a year! I have a tower of boxes in the cellar, and it looks allot but when I get it all unpacked it looks so sad in our big livingroom. I guess I’ll just have to buy even more decorations next year, oh well! Tomorrow we pick up a christmas tree, which is the best part to decorate. So excited!


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Not feeling so sexy

I made a rather depressing recollection last night, when I remembered that my very much needed next paycheck will only be 75% of my regular pay check because I added my last vacation week for christmas. Of course I had planned for this and set aside money this summer, but I had to spend it on an emergency root canal and totally forgot what the money was really for. I already use half my pay on rent, so now my anything-but-rent budget is halved. As you know I was planning on treating myself to some new gym clothes, as well as a sports bra, a regular bra and I was hoping for a wool coat as well. I also had to get some cheat blouse for christmas, so I don’t have to wear a t-shirt on christmas eve and christmas day (me being Norwegian and hubs being English we’re celebrating both this year). What makes it even more depressing is that the next pay after that is being spent entirely on student loans, so the next time I can buy anything is late Febuary! Atleast I already have all my christmas prezzies, and I have hubs to pay for food and bills.

It may sound shallow, but I was counting on some new clothes would make my self-esteem a tiny bit better, and it’s really at an all time low right now. I guess it has to be when something as silly as not being able to shop can make everything so bleak. But right now I’m so sick of wearing my boyfriends sweat pants not even loosing 20 kilos could make me feel better. But I do think it’s important to dress well in order to feel well, because who feels well when they wear a sad outfit that only makes you look fat and lazy? I’m really not looking forward to doing all christmas parties in the same black blouse which is now to small for my boobs, and I can’t even afford a proper bra to hold those not-so-fun-anymore bags in place (right now I’m wearing H&M sports tops that don’t quite fit). So I guess it’s leggings, sweat pants, t-shirts and my big Michelin-man parkas for another three months. Maybe then can I afford some pants.

It’s not easy trying to be an attractive woman and girlfriend and not just a sad mom. Or cheap.

It sucks that I can be so beyond happy with my life, but so beyond unhappy with my looks.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Home style

I’m so proud of myself, I actually made tomato sauce from scratch today! I’ve been wanting to make more food from scratch for ages, but now that I’m home during the day it’s finally time! The baby still needs me during the day, so I can’t exactly have dinner on the table when hubs gets home yet, but I think we’re getting there! No doubt I want to be the perfect housewife for my family.

I combined two recipes I found online, HERE and HERE, and although it wasn’t perfect, it still tasted quite good. Definetly needs perfecting, but hopefully one day I’ll have my own perfect recipe I can pass down to my children!


Friday, November 23, 2012

Body Issues (you know, those saggy bits)

It’s been over a month since Edward was born, and we all know that means it’s time to start doing something about my body. I’ve been overweight almost my entire life, but I’ve had a few periods in my life where I’ve had a close to normal body which I’ve (atleast in hindsight) been satisfied with. But right now my body is at it’s all time low.

My body was close to perfect when I was 19 and has just moved away from home. Two years later I started hormone medication, which added quite a few pounds over the next year and a half. Add getting pregnant, and now I pretty much hate my body. Today I weighed 83,4 kilos, which is ALLOT for someone of only 157cm. Even though I didn’t gain much weight from fat during my pregnancy, it’s definetly taken it’s toll on my body. My tits are saggier than ever, as is my deflated tummy, and my thighes and arms are way too fat. I’m actually so fat I can’t wear clothes from certain stores, and 95% of my old clothes don’t fit anymore (I only have leggings, hubbys sweatpants, t-shirts, cardigans and one blouse that fit).

So it’s finally time to get back into shape. I have NO excuse anymore. I was about to start working out when I became pregnant, but my first trimester was a nightmare and there was no way that could happend. So as long as I get the OK from my doctor next week I can start working out next Saturday with cardio once a week before christmas. After new year, when I can afford it, I’m planning on going to the gym three times a week for cardio and weights, as well as continuing to go for daily walks with the baby. I’m also breast feeding, which is basically a mini-lipo, haha! I also want to treat myself to some new gym clothes as motivation. It’s easy to forget how important it is to feel good and sexy, even if you’re at the gym!

It’s time to stop hating my body, and hopefully I’ll get results I like without plastic or cosmetic surgery. Unfortunately I have so many stretch marks, there is a possibility the skin on my stomach won’t go back and I’ll end up with a tummy tuck. I already plan on having my breasts fixed, but that’s a few years down the road. I hope to be down to 70 kilo by summer, so I can buy some sexy jeans when I visit London!

My biggest obstacle is still food and sweets. Sometimes I find myself thinking about cookes and candy for ages, and it’s insanely difficult to stop myself from popping into the shop and pick up something sweet and of course a can of Coke (my biggest weakness!). I’m also trying to eat more vegetables, not just for my looks but also for my health. I’ve been really good this week, and only broken down and bought delicious fatty cookies once! Of course I’ll never cut it out completly, but I’ll survive with only allowing it on weekends. I don’t want it to just be another diet, because they always end and then you regain all the weight. It’s lifestyle changes that work in the long haul!

I’m not just doing it for myself anymore, I’m also doing it for my darling Edward. I’m scared shitless he’ll be overweight like I was, and that he’ll get bullied like I was. I don’t want him to be fat and hate himself, but I also want him to be a healthy little boy.

The reason I’m telling you this is because I need company on this journey. Maybe I should check in once a month or something, tell you how it’s coming along? As you already know I want to be 70 kilos by July (I’ll live with 10 kilos lost though), but my goal is to be 60 kilos by the time I get married. The problem is I don’t know when that is yet, so why don’t we just say by summer 2014?


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Those housewives

I’ve found a new obsession; Real Housewives of New Jersey! I’ve been watching Beverly Hills and Miami (Orange County is too boring, and Vancouver is just too crazy) but I always thought NJ was so tacky, but oh how I love it! I’m crazy for Teresa, she is just amazing! My favorite housewife. I love finding a series I love when it’s already been running for years, so now I can have a week long marathon. I just started season two, and I have a feeling I’ll finished with all four seasons by Friday haha!

I definetly think it would be fun to be on some future series of Real Housewives! I like to think I’m not crazy enough though, but deep withing I know I could be table turning after a bottle of wine, haha! Real Housewives of Bergen? Bring it on! Even though it would be the most boring series of all time.


Friday, November 16, 2012

Back to reality

Yesterday, on the 15th of November, baby Edward turned one month old, and I finally joined the world again. It was a happy coincidence that the premiere of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 was one minute to midnight (I’m a total Twi-hard!), and when my BFF Martha joined in as well I decided it was time to be just Kaja, not a mommy, and that we should get cocktails before the movie. If you’ve never been pregnant you may think I’m an alcoholic for missing cocktails, but there have been times I was ready to kill for a tasty drink, and I think most new mommies know the feeling.

Having felt super ugly lately, I decided to really make an effort and I did my roots and nails, took time to do my make-up and wore the By Malene Birger blue leopard shirt I got in August. I gotta tell you, after some adult time and a delicious blue cocktail I felt great, and even hot, which I haven’t really since I got pregnant.

However, it didn’t take long before I started missing my little man back home, and when the movie started I was ready to leave I missed him so much! Didn't help that his name was plastered across the screen (it was then and there it actually hit me that he actually has the same name as the main character, not just that they both are named Edward. Sounds crazy right?) and that the first time you see Reneesme she’s about the same size as Edward is now. But I made it through and the memory days previous crankiness was long gone!


Thursday, November 8, 2012

The trouble with babies

How come no one tells you how incredibly hard it is to have a newborn baby? All you ever see is how cute they are, all the downtime you have and how bored parents are when they sleep all day.

It is NOTHING like that. These last weeks have been so tiring I want to cry just thinking about it. I thought getting peed on would be the worst part of having a baby, but that part I don’t even mind anymore. Nights are becoming so long and hazy, I can hardly tell them apart anymore. He gets horrible tummy aches in the evening, and can cry for 6 hours unless he has a boob in his mouth and can drink a few drops every minute to settle his stomach. Nursing in itself is enough work if you ask me, and having him attached for hours on end can break any new mom. Getting up in the middle of the night to feed him every four hours is a nightmare if you ask me, I just wish he would fall asleep before 2 am.

And the amounts of poop! I’m sure he poops more than I do. And pees like a waterfall. I’m sure I can change 15 diapers a day, and sometimes four times in 30 minutes if he’s on a pooping spree.

It’s a good thing he’s so darn cute. I guess that’s why people never tell you about all this, because they forget as soon as the phase is over. I can sit and cry along with him at nights, and he just has to stop for a few seconds and look at me with those big blue eyes and I forget everything. And no matter how insane I’m going every night, sleeping resets everything and the next morning I’m as happy and inlove with him as ever.

I guess that’s how we’re suppost to survive this first time. Thinking about that he’'s not even a month is enough to kill me, but I guess we’ll survive this as well. It’s definetly been taking it’s toll on me, hubs and our relationship, but if other people can make it, and not hate each other either, we can too. Having a baby is definetly not for someone that doesn’t have a rock solid relationship, and I definetly get how so many people break up straight after having a baby.

Between the tough pregnancy, long and painful birth, the state of my body right now and all this, I’m strongly considering not having anymore babies. But we’ll see, I bet all women say that so soon after giving birth. If not I’m thinking mankind wouldn’t survive this long!

But now look at how cute my little Edward James is (we only call him Edward)! His hair looks so red in this picture, and I’m loving it! His skin is terrible at the moment though, all the hormones he gets from me through my milk. But his still gorgeous, acne or not!


Sunday, November 4, 2012

OPI Skyfall


Seeing swatches from the new OPI James Bond Skyfall collection a few weeks back I knew some of those beauties HAD to be mine. So i scowered the internet for good deals and got these four home just before the weekend, and not even paying the regular price for two. It’s been a long time since I’ve been hooked on polishes, but sometimes you just have to! I’m absolutely addicted to red polishes, and it’s not often I find shades I don’t already have. So I got (from the top): Skyfall (cream maroon), Die Another Day (metallic candy apple red), The Spy Who Loved Me (bright red glitter with gold flecks) and Goldeneye (gold glitter).

Die Another Day is by far my favorite, being the perfect candy apple with a slight orange undertone. Gorgeous! It can feel both christmasy and super sexy. I’ve never had any similar shade, and I’m absolutely head-over-heels in love.


Check out Vampy Varnish for swatches of the full collection.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Instagrams of October

October revolved, in no surprise, around the birth of baby Edward and everything surrounding. As you know he was late, and the first picture was actually taken on my due date! Not allot of pictures this month as I was feeling pretty shabby before he was finally born on the 15th.






Remember to follow me on Instagram (username: kajahytland) or HERE!

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